How To Have a Big, Fat, F-ing Juicy Everything

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Recently I stood before a large, blank sheet of paper with the intention of listing my goals for the new year. The clear white of it felt so good to me; limitless, and available. I had an exhilarating sense of possibility. Goals began to swirl around my mind – This, That, and The Other. “I need…I should…I ought to…it all came thundering through my mind.

I froze in overwhelm, my pen poised. And then my hands found my belly, and I extended my breath into the soles of my feet, and with a deep exhale, I felt the fires of desire rise and engulf me. Only ONE goal emerged for the year, and it somehow wrote itself: “I want a big, fat, fucking juicy EVERYTHING.”

Like many women, I’ve spent years toiling to achieve in the masculine paradigm that says, “hard work earns your worth”. And in my line of work, achievement is not measured by money, but Service (with a capital S). How many lives can I positively impact? How much hope and joy can I infuse on the planet? My driving ambition, coupled with 20 years of service as an activist, healer and teacher, stressed me to the point of severe exhaustion. Things have recently changed.

These days I take naps. I do yoga at my leisure. I read poetry and dance every day. I got a cat -and- a boyfriend. As I write this it’s 3:20 in the morning and I don’t care. I pause to listen to my body, it never fails me. And you know what? I’m deliriously happy. And my clients are soaring.

What’s your vision for the next year? Or five? Where (and how) are you aiming your focus? And why?

I invite you to tune into your deepest desires, not your pragmatic, obligatory needs, but your outrageous emotional longings. Start there. Give up your need to know how to achieve your dreams, just breathe into those aching places inside you, those parts of you craving something fun, more meaningful, more rewarding.

Stroke your soul like a sleeping lion, and watch it wake with a ROAR.

Good things are coming…..

I love you,


For Botheva clay